A life of Sacrifice

“Would you like a cup of tea”

These would inevitably be the first words you would hear from Dolly, whenever you turned up on her doorstep. Her door was open to everyone, everyone was made welcome but more than that they were made to feel special. She loved to hear what you were doing, your dreams and plans. She didn’t talk about herself. It was always about you. She was interested in you and what was happening in your life.

Dorothy Ann Allen was born on the 21^st of July 1932. She lived in Fulham her whole life, moving only twice, the second time to a newly built house in 1977. I would later buy the house next door in 1998, and we would become neighbours and friends until her death aged 92.  

Dolly, as everyone called her, was mother to five children, and Nanny Doll to her two grandchildren, Darien and Scarlet. She was so proud of her children and delighted that Scarlet wanted to go to University. The first in the family to do so.

When asked why Dolly had not done certain things or learnt certain things she would say “Well, there was a war on wasn’t there”.

Dolly was certainly bright, I will always remember her beautiful handwriting, and it is difficult not to wonder what Dolly could have done, if events had been different.

She was not evacuated during the War but remained in London with her mother and sister.

In fact, she only left London three times in her life. Once to go to Morecambe Bay, once to the Isle of White, with her daughter Hazel, when the bus broke down, and once to great surprise of all her family, it turned out she had been to Paris.

In her kitchen hangs a print of the canales of Venice, and it is easy to believe that she dreamt of one day going there and seeing the gondolas.

Dolly’s life seems to have been one of different sacrifices at different times. She never complained. The opposite, her stoic nature was hidden by her enormous sense of fun.

I cannot imagine what it must have been like to bring up five children in London.

Gina her eldest daughter, had this to say:

“Mum taught us the difference between want and need.

When we had Sunday lunch and we wanted to have more, she would take the food off her plate and give it to us.

We never did without. There was always enough for all of us.”

These are the things that live on after we have gone. The values that Dolly has passed down to her children, continue in them and all who were lucky enough to have her in their lives.

Her huge energy, her generosity, her eccentricities: She didn’t like banks. Didn’t trust them. Everything was done at the post office.

Her straight talking and her love of Bingo! Dolly did love her Bingo!

Simple pleasures.

Charity begins on your own doorstep and Dolly did everything she could to improve the area she lived in. She volunteered her time to the local community centre and was the “Go to” person for all her neighbours.

“Would you like a cup of tea”

Home was where she was happiest, and so this year, she celebrated her last Christmas with her family and then finally, peacefully, gave up on her four-year fight with Parkinson’s, leaving this world on New Year’s Day, from the comfort of her own bed, in her own home.

She is so missed by her family and friends. There will never be another Dolly Allen.  

I hope we can all remember that although her parting causes us pain, she is now free from pain, and that is the most important thing.

The Bible teaches us that we return to God as our perfect selves and that is how I would like to think of Dolly, free from sickness and pain, her own perfect free spirit. The Dolly we all loved and will remember.